Tuesday, December 6, 2011

How to Financially Ruin America: Debtmas!

Do you wanna know what really burns my ass?

A flame about 32 inches high…

You know what ELSE burns my ass?


IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!

DEBT-MAS!

You know, it’s that holiday that used to be Christmas…

Ahhhhhhh Christmas, such warm memories and happy thoughts. Back when I was a kid it meant giving, it meant family, it meant happiness, singing songs of merriment and holiday cheer, it meant clay-mation cartoons on TV.

Used to be it didn’t matter if you had $1000 dollars or a $100 to spend on someone…Or nothing at all…

The greatest gift of all was just being with each other.

Not the case in this day and age…

Why?

Because the evil greedy credit card companies and corporate chain stores have sucked the Christ out of Christmas, drained the holly jolly, and perverted the peace and goodwill to mankind, replacing it with…

“You-Have-to-Spend-Spend-Spend-buy-the-newest-and-latest-until-you-are-so-in-debt-you-will-lose-your-home/car/ hopes/dreams/future-when-you-cannot-afford-the-credit-payment-in-January-lets-hope-for-a-big-tax-return-in-April!-Mas”… or in short… Debt-Mas.

Even poor old Thanksgiving has been manipulated by this evil scheme to destroy your spirits of goodwill to mankind…

Used to be… Thanksgiving meant mom slaved all day and night and all day again to put a 10 pound dried out bird on the table, the only way you could eat the damned thing is if you submerged it in a gallon of gravy… For 4 hours…
Your dinner rolls are charred black and could easily be used to knock holes in cement.
The stuffing is still in the box as she sits it on the table.
“Just add water and microwave Sweetie” –Mom

The pumpkin pie is some generic knock off factory made pie, the dog smelled it and barfed byproduct that was designed in a government lab during the 50’s as a way to send pies over seas to troops stationed abroad without them spoiling… but later discovered it to be a better way to torture terrorists into confessing their darkest crimes…
You no longer see your relatives at Grandma’s… ‘Cause they’re sleeping the day away so they can be awake all night…
Mmmmmmm Thanksgiving…

No wait, that’s how It is now… Families are too preoccupied to hurry so they can arrive at Wally-World at Midnight, fight and mosh with the hordes of Viking-esque shoppers, dodge sprays of mace… just to buy a $2.50 blender…

No offense to Moms of the world!
There are a few families left that uphold the age old tradition of Thanksgiving in all its glory… Those are the Few, the proud, the…


But you know it’s not just Mom that does this… Dad… Grandpa, Grandma, and I’d be safe to wager YOU yourself engage in the madness, free for fall, trip the person next to you in line… that is known as…  dun dun dun… Black Friday…

So why is it called Black Friday?

Well that is because… That’s when you black out…
MAX OUT your credit card!

What really burns my ass is this…

That $2.50 blender that is normally 15 bucks…
But today only we can sell it for $2.50…

BS!

It can be sold for $2.50 any day of the year!

I bet you’re thinking,
NO WAY!

I say, YES WAY!

For starters, where did it come from?

9 times out of 10… CHINA!

That’s right, land of sweat shops and cheap labor.

If I were a betting man, I would wager that the Blender only costs these consumer chain stores 50 cents…

They so kindly mark it up 200% and call it savings one day a year…

Now at 15 bucks, at its normal yearly price… that’s what, a markup of 1450%?!
…Math was never my strong suit, but I know enough about math to realize when I’m getting screwed!!!!

That actually makes me want to SCREAM!!!!


They cry about how we are in a recession, how our economy is going down the drain, how we are broke…

Maybe perhaps “They” need to have a brain cell turn on and realize…
Hmmmm… 1000’s of jobs a year are going overseas… 1000’s of people are now out of work…

We then take the products made by these over seas jobs and sell them at 1000 times what it cost us to obtain this product…

With all the people out of work (because their job was sent overseas), they do what comes natural... The NEW American way…

Charge it to the old plastic…

How can our economy NOT be horrible?!?!?!

I recently read that for every dollar in our pocket, China owns 44 cents of that dollar!

Better start learning Chinese…

All the while, we run and scream and buy these “marked down” made in China products on Black Friday…

In my opinion, that’s the day of the year that paved the road for our future Chinese overlords…

You want to see great savings/discounts year-round?
You want to make a difference in our economy?
You want to help the American work force?
You want to keep China from taking over?

Then next year, next Thanksgivng… Thanksgiving 2012… More precisely, Black Friday 2012… DO NOT buy a single item on Black Friday… If everyone quit acting like wild savages and stayed home, I have the strangest theory that the rest of the year we would see more savings on the shelves and more dough in our wallets… I mean credit cards… since that is the American way…


Which brings me to my next subject of rant-ness…

If you only made X dollars a year… why would you spend Z dollars on a credit card?!

You can’t afford it, your more than likely gonna lose everything you have worked so hard for… and for what purpose? So your kids can have the latest, most awesome cheap Chinese made, gonna fall apart, today it’s fad next week its old and stupid Action Hero Man?

“But Mom I want the new one!! This one sucks!!!”

So why do people do it?
I never could understand why anyone in their right mind would put so much time and so much effort and so much on the line for 10 minutes of pleasure…
Once you open the gift and use it for 10 minutes, its old, no mystery left…
And all that running, fighting, grabbing things off the store shelves before someone else gets that savings! Was really all in vain!

That sort of thinking and behavior is as dumb as a 16 year old boy on a first date with the captain of the cheerleading squad…

This Christmas, look around and enjoy having your family with you…

Forget the fancy gadgets, the super awesome HD TV, Forget the latest cell phone…
To hell with that blender…

Hug your family and tell them you love them… After all, that’s what truly makes the Holidays special.


-Evol Eric

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